Be Yourself; Everyone Else Is Already Taken

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Maria DiGiorgio is a lifelong New Yorker, who currently resides in Commack, with her family.  She is a devoted wife and mother, an educator and designer. Maria is active in her community, as a PTA mom and Girl Scout leader.  She has a passion for interior decorating and loves to garden. She is an avid reader, and enjoys writing about life experiences and parenthood, as well as her personal observations about the world around us.
    This well-known bit of wisdom is a quote from Oscar Wilde.  Wilde was a 19th century Irish writer, poet, essayist and playwright. He was a wise and prolific soul who lived a short but colorful life. His many witty, profound and timeless quotes continue to influence and intrigue generations of people, who seek to be enlightened, amused and reflective in their own personal life journeys.  It always amazes me how the human condition, while constantly evolving through societal changes in history, still remains intrinsically, very much the same.  We struggle with pressure to be something other than we are, as if our destiny to be exactly who we are, is somehow, subject to change. 
     Today’s world is a very challenging one.  The demands, the expectations, the opportunities available to us, twenty-four hours a day (thanks to social media), place an incredible burden on us. They make us be ever vigilant to what we “should,” “could” or “must” be, in order to conform to society’s ideals.  We are literally bombarded with information, images, and ideas of what we ought to be striving to achieve, be it physically, emotionally, economically or socially acceptable.  In this whirlwind of messages, we can become swept up in the notion that our identity is not worthwhile or that it needs to be altered to “fit” the mold of what others believe we should be.
     We each have an “authentic” self or true essence of our being. Our character, values, likes, dislikes, purpose in life, strengths and weaknesses are all a part of our authentic self.  We spend endless hours of our lives seeking ways to comply with pre-conceived standards. What we really should be doing, is searching for ways to uncover what we already possess.  
    In order to live an authentic life, we must first know and understand who we truly are and what we are genuinely all about. This goal, while seemingly daunting, is actually attainable, and so very necessary for living a successful life with intention. First, we need to identify what makes us happy, what sparks our creativity, what matters to our social conscience and what makes us uniquely “us.” Then, we can appropriately decide if and what we wish to adjust in order to reach our desired outcome.  Learning from others (or society, at large) is certainly part of the equation although not entirely.
    Once we have a clear idea of who we are, we can then make informed decisions on the qualities, traits and characteristics singular to ourselves.  We no longer fall victim to losing ourselves in the quagmire of others’ expectations.  Instead, we begin to conform and hold true which leads us to feel validated and valued.  As Oscar Wilde suggested, “We should be the “star” of our own life, and the master of our own destiny.  We need not try to be anyone else, for truly, this is not possible, but more importantly, it serves to dismiss and negate the wonder and the unparalleled beauty of the spirit, which is uniquely our own!”