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 Rick Kaufman is the Owner and Chief Instructor at Traditional Martial Arts Centers, 631-828-8710 PAL sanctioned Anti Bullying Instructor/ 5th Degree Black Belt with over 23 years experience NYS Licensed Mental Health Counselor. |
| First and foremost it’s important to be able to recognize significant changes in the behavior or demeanor of your child. Issues such as unexplained bruises, an increase in the desire to stay home from school with feigned illnesses or the ongoing loss of property, money or lunch are just a few examples of behaviors that can give parents that all important “ Heads-Up” that something is awry. Of course in more severe cases, parents may notice social isolation on the part of the child, a sense of depression and hopelessness or behaviors that are self destructive. Children that take on the role of the bully may begin to act more aggressive, generally socialize with others that bully, are avoidant of responsibility and will tend to blame others for their actions. Part of the reason this is such a critical issue is that while bullying can have such a devastating effect on a child, and tragically can lead to suicide, it often goes unreported. According to a 2010 study reported by the National Bullying Center, 64% of children who were bullied did not report it. Our children are frightened, feeling isolated or ashamed and confused. They are at a loss to handle the overload of emotions that accompany these behaviors. They may be experiencing physical violence, social isolation, cyber bullying or verbal abuse and sadly, these are not mutually exclusive. All too frequently, the child will experience any number of these types of bullying creating a sense of helplessness and hopelessness that is all too often devastating in both the short and long term. The good news is that parents, teachers, coaches, siblings and friends can be the antidote. Paying attention to our children’s ever evolving or changing behaviors, attitudes and social trends is so very important. Being able to validate the feelings of our children will help to ease their burden and encourage them to share their feelings with the appropriate adults in their life to address the issue. Fighting the temptation to write off a child’s changing attitudes to a “phase” or period of “growing pains” will help a parent. Children can then learn who to tell about their problem, how to approach the bully or bullies and what steps to take to put an end to the problem. At Traditional Martial Arts Centers of Smithtown, we address the issue of bullying in almost all of our classes. By recognizing the positive effects of confidence, focused attention, awareness and particular skill sets, our school aged children gain experiences, in a non-threatening and safe environment that provide valuable tools to deal with this truly difficult issue. They learn the ABC’s of bullying, how to use their voice to de-escalate a frightening situation, who to tell about their problem and how to act so as to minimize the chances of being bullied. Approximately 160,000 children miss some portion of school, every day, because they feel freightened, picked on or bullied by others. Parents and the involved adults in a child’s life can be the game changers. Help your child to be a hero in his or her own life……talk to them about bullying and all the associated behaviors. |
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