Happiness In The New Year

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Lauren Zitowsky is a Certified Teen Life Coach. In her practice at Teen Life Coach Inc., she arms your teens with the tools needed to overcome issues such as bullying, body image, divorce, school, relationships, heartache and peer pressure. Lauren can be reached at teenlifecoachlauren@gmail.com
    Our stomachs are full from the delectable delicacies we ate during the holidays. Our throats are sore from all the Happy New Year toasts we have cheers to.  
    Now, how many of us can say our hearts are truly happy?  If you weren't happy in 2016 chances are you won't be happy in 2017.   Why would you be? A New Year is not a clean slate that will wipe away your problems.  It is simply a new set of numbers. In life, you don't get what you don't work for and this includes happiness.  
    The real question now becomes: How can we make ourselves Happy in this New Year?
     Now, it doesn't matter how old your child is or what situation they are in. They and they alone can either choose to be happy or unhappy. This is a fact.  As parents, you can tell your child what to do and how to do it.  However, you can't tell them how to feel just like no one can tell you how to feel. Stop doing this!  Our goal is to be smarter in the New Year.  Being smarter holds the key to happiness.  
    If your child is sad allow them to feel sad.  It doesn't matter what they are going through.  All that matters is that they are going through something.  You have to let your child know you will be there for them in whatever way they need you.  Think about it.  When you are sad do you like it when you are barraged with questions such as; what's the matter, why aren't you acting like yourself.  This can get very frustrating and often exacerbates the situation. Why would you do that to your child?  Sometimes children, like adults need time to work things out.  Allow your child to solve their own problems if they are able to.  Let them know you are there if they need someone to talk to but don't meddle.  Has meddling ever worked for you before?  I didn't think so.  
    Your child will now come to you for the following reasons.  You respected them by giving them the space and time they needed.  You also treated them like an adult.  If you treat a child like an adult they will grow into that role much more quickly than if you don't.  After your child is done expressing their feelings let them know that you understand how they are feeling.  Even if you don't.  This is so important. If you undermine your child’s emotions you are undermining them.  You are telling them in so many words that their feelings are wrong. Your child is opening up to you because they want to be happy.  They want to change their current situation.  Let them choose happiness in the New Year and always. After all happiness is a choice.  It’s their choice.