Home Personal Development How To improve Your Child's Self-Esteem

How To improve Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Connie Henriquez H.H.C. is a Teen Life Coach who teaches kids & teens how to overcome anxiety, self-doubt and improve  their self-esteem. For more information, call (516) 340-0378 or check out her website at startlovinglife.com. 

The only problem with the children I work with is that they are defeating themselves in their own mind. That’s it. By doing this, they are slowly, over time, killing their self-esteem which negatively affects their self-image and impacts EVERY aspect of their life.

When children lack self-esteem they experience:

    •    Shyness
    •    Sadness
    •    Stress
    •    Anxiety 
    •    Mood Swings
    •    Anger Outbursts

Does this sound like your child?

All of the above are fixable when you address the root issue: your child’s self-esteem.

Why your child lacks self-esteem? 
There can be many reasons, but below is a common example of my experiences with the many kids I work with. 

Scenario: 1
Growing up, children are NOT taught to LOVE themselves or LOVE life. Instead, at an early age, your child’s “intelligence” is measured by performance in every subject at school. Therefore, if they did not excel academically, your child at age 6 (or whatever age) was automatically deemed “NOT smart”. 

Scenario: 2
Conversely, if your child was lucky enough to excel in EVERY subject, then your child learned validation by manufactured benchmarks, such as grades. This created the pressure to perform in order to continue their validation of worthiness, all of which is exhausting, stressful and causes that dreadful “perfectionism” bug.

So, regardless of whether your child fell into either scenario 1 or 2, that experience has shaped their self-image. 

Now, should it have? No, of course not. Instead, we must teach our children that their worthiness comes from the inside and has NOTHING to do with outside accolades or other’s opinions of them (that includes grades and everything else). 
    But unfortunately, the current reality tends to create a platform for your child at an early age, forcing them to become very self-critical.

For example, self-critical thoughts based on the above scenarios include:

(Scenario 1) Does not excel academically:

    •    I am not good enough.
    •    I am not smart enough.
    •    There is something wrong with me.
    •    I don’t fit in.
    •    My parents are disappointed in me.

(Scenario 2) Does excel academically:

    •    In order to be good, I MUST do well.
    •    If I get a bad grade, I am disappointed in myself.
    •    I must be the best in order to make my parents happy.
    •    I receive positive attention from my parents only when I do         well, so in order to feel loved, I must continue to do well.

The list goes on…

Since I’ve worked with children, I see these scenarios all the time. Your children put undue pressure on themselves to perform, fit in and make you, the parent, happy. Let’s face it,  there is no wonder why kids’ anxiety and depression are at an all-time high. And, just remember, the above scenario is pertaining to schoolwork and grades! There’s also the social aspect that involves making friends, succeeding in sports, the pressures of social media…and much more!

So, what’s the solution?

It’s simple. Kids must learn how to love themselves AND how to start loving life, regardless of EVERYTHING ELSE. They must know that the only opinion of them that matters, is their own. So, when they improve their opinions of themselves (their self-image), by focusing on their positive, unique qualities, they WILL feel better. 

When your child starts loving life, life will love them back…
Imagine that?

 

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Poolside Picks

Dive into your summer reading list

(Family Features) Laying out on the beach and floating in the pool are true hallmarks of summer. A good book, however, can elevate these relaxing experiences to a new level.

Whether you find yourself looking for a beach read, a book for the pool or something to help you escape while lounging on the couch with the windows open, these sizzling summer reads offer something for nearly every type of reader. From suspense to romance and adventure, you don’t want to miss these books this summer.

Some Secrets Aren’t Meant to Be Shared

From author Meg Mitchell Moore comes a warm, witty and suspenseful novel filled with small-town secrets, summer romance, big time lies and spiked seltzer. In “Two Truths and A Lie” the leader of an idyllic beach town “mom squad” has made surprising effort to include a new resident and her daughter in typically closed-group activities, though they’re not the only ones she’s been spending more time with. A blend of propulsive thriller and gorgeous summer read, Moore’s latest novel is a reminder that happiness isn’t always a day at the beach, some secrets aren’t meant to be shared and the most precious things are loved ones.

Romantic Adventure Proves Anything Can Happen

No. 1 “New York Times” bestseller Susan Elizabeth Phillips returns to her Chicago Stars series with a romance between a quarterback and one of the world’s greatest opera singers – and a major diva – in “When Stars Collide.” It’s Mozart meets Monday night football as the temperamental soprano and stubborn jock embark on a nationwide tour promoting a luxury watch brand, they engage in soul-searching, trash talk and backstage drama. Threatening letters, haunting photographs and a series of dangerous encounters also complicate their lives and make them wonder if it’s the work of an overzealous fan or something more sinister.

Transatlantic Love Story Raises the Royal Stakes

“New York Times” and “USA Today” bestselling author Alyssa Cole’s second Runaway Royals novel, “How to Find a Princess,” is an Anastasia-inspired romance featuring a long-lost princess who finds love with the female investigator tasked with tracking her down. When a threat to her grandmother’s livelihood pushes the princess to return to Ibarania, the investigator takes her on a transatlantic adventure. When they finally make it, they realize there’s more at stake than just cash and crown, and the princess must learn what it means to fight for what she desires rather than what she feels bound to by duty.

Find more titles to add to your summer reading list at Facebook.com/WilliamMorrowBooks .

 

Photo courtesy of Getty Images (woman reading in pool)

SOURCE:
Harper Collins

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