Connie Henriquez H.H.C. is a Teen Life Coach who teaches kids & teens how to overcome anxiety, self-doubt and improve their self-esteem. For more information, call (516) 340-0378 or check out her website at startlovinglife.com.
The only problem with the children I work with is that they are defeating themselves in their own mind. That’s it. By doing this, they are slowly, over time, killing their self-esteem which negatively affects their self-image and impacts EVERY aspect of their life.
When children lack self-esteem they experience:
Does this sound like your child?
All of the above are fixable when you address the root issue: your child’s self-esteem.
Why your child lacks self-esteem?
So, regardless of whether your child fell into either scenario 1 or 2, that experience has shaped their self-image.
Now, should it have? No, of course not. Instead, we must teach our children that their worthiness comes from the inside and has NOTHING to do with outside accolades or other’s opinions of them (that includes grades and everything else).
For example, self-critical thoughts based on the above scenarios include:
(Scenario 1) Does not excel academically:
• I am not good enough.
(Scenario 2) Does excel academically:
• In order to be good, I MUST do well.
The list goes on…
Since I’ve worked with children, I see these scenarios all the time. Your children put undue pressure on themselves to perform, fit in and make you, the parent, happy. Let’s face it, there is no wonder why kids’ anxiety and depression are at an all-time high. And, just remember, the above scenario is pertaining to schoolwork and grades! There’s also the social aspect that involves making friends, succeeding in sports, the pressures of social media…and much more!
So, what’s the solution?
It’s simple. Kids must learn how to love themselves AND how to start loving life, regardless of EVERYTHING ELSE. They must know that the only opinion of them that matters, is their own. So, when they improve their opinions of themselves (their self-image), by focusing on their positive, unique qualities, they WILL feel better.
When your child starts loving life, life will love them back…